


Parasite 2: The Reckoning

by anemonebelle



Category: Bleach
Genre: Babies, Drabbles, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Future Fic, I Will Go Down With This Ship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27710704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemonebelle/pseuds/anemonebelle
Summary: A humorous and sickening sweet look at Orihime and Ulquiorra's relationship right after "Parasite" a story I haven't posted yet. Besides some very vague references for my own amusement this piece stands alone. Mostly drabbles of the couple and their journey into parenting right after a high speed (again haven't posted it yet, sorry) and harrowing adventure of Ulquiorra and Orihime's supernaturally forced co-dependence on one another.
Relationships: Ulquiorra Cifer/Inoue Orihime
Kudos: 2





	Parasite 2: The Reckoning

**Author's Note:**

> This is legitimately just wish fulfillment on my part. Mostly drabbles and non-linear story lines taking place after a fan-fiction I am still working on. Please bare with me, I have not watched the anime or read the Manga in years and never finished after Fake-Karakura town. I assure you I will probably make lots of mistakes, sorry in advance and hope you enjoy whatever this is. 
> 
> P.S: I haven't posted stories in over a decade and rarely write so this may be a wee bit bumpy, so hold on to your hard hats ladies and gentlemen.

He's a dumb ass, but she adores him regardless.

“So, let me get this straight,” He drawls, eyebrows scrunched down to complete that idiotic look of skepticism that bares his face almost every waking hour of the day. “She just got rid of one _Parasite_ ,” He quips hooking his fingers exaggeratedly in the strange human gesture for emphasis, “and now she's got a second one.”

She's going to slap him. Part of her is irritated in knowing the pain will cause very little damage, but another part of her can feel her hands twitching in anticipation to make palm on face contact, already accustomed to years of literally slapping sense into him.

“Damn't Rukia, stop looking at me like I'm an idiot!”

“YOU ARE AN IDIOT!” Succinctly finishing off her statement with a sucker punch to the face. She huffs, turning her back towards him arms tangled across her chest and robe swishing across her legs as she stomps away. “If that's not the stupidest way I've ever heard of someone describing pregnancy...”

“Hey get back here! It's not my fault your pictures look like shit. How was I suppose be able to tell that was a baby!” Ichigo yelled while wildly gesticulating at the scribbled paper in his hand, trying to catch up to the the image of the pixi-woman stumping away from him. The forever dense soul-reaper screamed after her diminishing appearance, “Come on Rukia you have to admit it looked like a weird alien-squirrel hybrid.” He flipped the paper around once more in rotation, tilting his head with each angle, completely nullifying the effect.

She stops turning so abruptly her nose is only a sneeze away from his chest. “All babies look like alien-hybrids you asshole,” The woman quips, quickly reaching over and snatching her beautiful drawing from the ungrateful heretic's hand.

Seconds pass. Ice cold eyes daring the red head to utter another irritating syllable about her masterpiece. He scratches his neck and taking a lesson from his old man decides to completely change the subject, “So... are we going to say congratulations or are we going to trap her into Hat and Clogs Basement again and beat the-”

“It's a baby not an Espada....” She stops herself. “I mean morally we would be straddling the line of life and death, but on the other hand Orhime is our friend... ” He grabs her hand, stopping her monologue in its track. He is always amazed how someone so full of life and over the top could have such dainty little hands.

"Whatever, pacifier breathe or destroyer of worlds we will always stand on the side of our Nakama." Their hands are swinging back and forwards as they walk through the Seretei, A small blush dimpling the woman's face at the sudden show of skin-ship. He looks down at her, all warm eyes and for just a second he doesn't have either the trademark dastardly scowl or the shit eating grin on his face, secretly not that she minds either expression much at all. “Might as well stop by and say our congratulations to Inoue and make sure half of Soul-society isn't trying to rumpelstiltskin her future snot-machine away.”

Rukia halts causing the hand cuffed Ichigo to pitch backwards. She glares at him clearly not amused. Maybe he had taken it a little too far in accusing soul society of having some twisted interest in the cold blooded Espada's progeny. Although with how things played out the first time around he wouldn't at all be surprised by some very aggressive meddling from a number of soul-reapers, retired, fired or just plain old weird. “Ah... You know I was only Joking, No one is going to hurt Inoue's baby. At least not with all of us around.”

She is still staring at him not ushering a blink and right before he thinks he may have to fill up the void with more useless strung together rambling, she tilts her head to this side and ask, “What's a rumpelstiltskin?”

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty that is the first chapter slash drabble. Will probably be done in loose chronological order. I tried really hard not to fall into the territory of dead baby jokes, as well I would like to add, no fictional babies to my knowledge will actually be harmed in the making of this story. Let me know what you think. We will be jumping to our main characters in the next one!


End file.
